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F—k Your Mother.

I live in the (mostly) peaceful St. Paul suburb of Mendota Heights, MN. A habitual walker, I have multiple routes I follow depending on how much time and energy I have. Plus, I like to change it up to avoid “scenery fatigue.” Fellow walkers will relate. Sometimes you get sick of seeing the same streets, the same houses, giving the same nod to the same guy at the same time every…single…day. One area that’s always a part of my walk is a small wooded area called Copperfield Ponds Park. It’s 25 acres comprising a pond bisected by a walking trail. It offers a welcome oasis from dodging cars on Mendota Heights’s increasingly-busy streets. Wildlife aplenty lives there and it’s a rare day I don’t see herons, loons, ducks, geese, and when the season is right: Turtles laying eggs beside the walking path. On a recent walk a man approached from the opposite direction. He carried two large logs on his shoulders. “Hi!” he said from several yards away. We got nearer and stopped. “I’m taking these to
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Gone to the Dogs

My neighborhood is, I think, representative of the state of the nation. Perhaps the world. And yes, “That guy” disclaimer. I fully admit I’ve become “that guy.” The “You kids get off my lawn” guy. Something happens when you hit 50. You realize you went 49 years resenting your father, then you hit 50 and bam: Overnight you’ve magically become everything you hated about him. But that’s a topic for another blog. My wife and I have lived in Mendota Heights, Minnesota, for eight years. For that entire time, a family two doors down has had a dog named Allie. Allie barks constantly. At nothing in particular. Allie suffers from that weird “Little Dog Syndrome” where the smaller they are, the more they bark in what I can only assume is an effort to overcompensate. Hey, a leaf. Bark bark bark. Hey, a squirrel. Bark bark bark. Hey, existence. Bark bark… You get the idea. Since Allie was the only noisy dog in the ‘hood, her barking was tolerable if annoying. But then, a year or so ago, a woman mov